Sunday, July 11, 2010
I’d be lying if I said I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. Things I have been trying to work my way around.
I am no more in that phase of life when incidents, thoughts, people or songs confuse me. I am strangely sorted. I know exactly what I want and I am comfortably numb with the alternative.
Just because I have allowed the co-existence of possibilities, I am willing to succumb to the consequences of each. Probably because there is no possibility I have consciously not thought my way through.
But it makes me wonder. At what point did I switch from being the Delirious Dreamer to the Rational Rebel?
Being the Dreamer was fun, adventurous, irresponsible and it broke my heart and my hopes more times than I could count. But it made me foolishly valiant and strong. I felt unspoilt like the wilderness after a monsoon shower and willed myself to drench my dreams in turbulent waters.
Being the Dreamer, I could do whatever I wanted to and attribute my actions to my eccentricities. Believe you me, the world is more willing to accept a self professed loony than a highly recommended genius.
Now don’t get me wrong. Being Rational has its ups too. So there’s still hope for you logical thinkers.
Logic comes with a safety brace of twisted analysis. You can take a perfectly simple situation and bifurcate it endlessly to arrive at conclusions that best suit your demeanor.
Some would say my sudden change of teams from the Dreamers to the Rationals could be very well explained by my finally acknowledging that I’ve grown up.
I would strongly disagree. With the reason, not with my growing up
I’d say the move has been selfish. Born out of need and not want. The lovechild of compromise and comfort is bloody well whatever you want to call it, as long as it promises you peace of mind.
I haven’t forgotten my dreams. But I have put new dreams on the hold for now.
I know where I want to be. It’s in two places at the same time.